How to meet? .. many BUT unrealistic suggestions!!

adrian_12111540

Hello,

I am a foreigner with a moderate Deutsch, that is why I write in English :)

Background: I am a male, 28 years old, study in Germany since 2.5 years, and almost every semester I move out to a German city for doing the Praktikum or Masterarbeit, plus I had very few free time because of mini-job too, "did NOT have any previous relationship" (i.e. virgin in that field). Since about a year I feel very lonely & I would like to have a relationship. Therefore, I did read many articles in English & German that suggest the same stuff about where & how to meet single ladies, such as:

http://www.gofeminin.de/liebe/kennenlernen-d23073.html

However, I find they are unrealistic; may be because I am shy, or because of it is irregular at my home country, or because I am totally new to the relationships.

To be more explicit, here are my thoughts:

1- Supermarkt: almost no young ladies. Even if there are; they are shopping with/for boyfriend/family or she wants just to buy her stuff. So, it would be like I am chasing her & being noisy.

2- In street: of course she would not have the time. Otherwise, she might have a partner! .. even if not, the environment is not comfortable at all for both of us.

3- In Bar: some people do not recommend it for a long term relationship (which I would like). However, I tried twice to go to bars & disco (even I am not a dancer + do not drink Alcohol :), the results were unpleasant. The girls are there with their friends & boyfriends for drinking & dancing, i.e. if there is a single lady, then she is within a group of her girlfriends. So, there is no chance to approach her!

4- Cafe or regular bar: the problem here is that I am shy, i.e. I don't know & dare, should I go to her & say "Hi, may I join! my name is xyz" & that's it?? .. will she accept joining her & have a conversation? & what afterwords??

5- By friends: that's tough for me, because each of my friends is in a different far city, & still making new relationships & the new office.

6- Internet websites: Even though I should be classified as a programmer, I had a bad experience in that field: I tried the free websites but they did not work. While the non-free websites are costly for me. Which takes me to the next point :)

7- Hobby, course (German, Dance, etc.): right now I am tight on fun, that means I would not be able to join such an activity for a while. However, for reference; I tried to join a German course in Darmstadt -> the very few ladies that attended were married or much older :) also, I tried to join a tennis course -> all the girls were very young (e.g. 12 years), or very old (e.g. 50years old) :)

So, my questions are:

*DO YOU HAVE ANY NEW SUGGESTIONS, PLEASE?
*DO YOU THINK THAT I AM COMPLICATING?
*

-Ladies comments, suggestions, objects & opinions are EXTREMELY welcomed-

Thank you very much.

noah_12558288

Why
dont you look in an area, you are familiar with?
How about your fellow students? You meet them every day, you talk to them and spend lots of time learning stuff. Arent there any friendships/relations developing? Stick to those and in their company, you might find a suitable girl.

Dont forget, you have a great advantage, you are a foreigner, that means, you are different, something new, interesting.
(And since you are "new in town", you have every right, just to go up to someone and ask a question, use that!)

noah_12558288

Something i forgot
At your university, there should be special workgroups for foreign students.
They help them to find their feet in Germany and to find friends.
They do parties, barbecues and such things.
They can help a lot (and with a lot of problems ;-) )

adrian_12111540

I am not in campus anymore :(
Hi,
thanks for all the reply. However, regarding "fellow students" & "students parties" -> unfortunately I am not in campus anymore :( now I am in a company doing the Masterarbeit & don't meet students, especially ladies (because very few girls in science).

adrian_12111540

noah_12558288

I tried the Werkstudent
Yup, as you say I tried to contact the Werkstudent. on their website they offered consultant for "lonliness". When I went & discussed with the lady, she had nothing to provide rather than "Werkstudent provides free sports activity, may be if join one of them ... ". It's not the target also the activities happen like every 3 weeks, or it's out of my interest, or for men only :)

noah_12558288

Wow
That takes a lot of courage - a young touristgirl in a foreign country hops into a car to an unknown guy...

Hope, you didnt tell parents about that! ;-)

noah_12558288

adrian_12111540

Perfect!
:moque: Men only!

How about VHS, learn to cook or how to arrange flowers?

But since you are still studen, do try those groups at campus, visit AIESEC, ISR and your local organisation, however they are called. Networking is their job and they are quite good at it. (Well, mostly)

adrian_12111540

I prefere not to mention :)
Sorry, but I prefer not to mention it, because it's kind of embarrassing :)

But I may give you a hint :) it's in the middle of the world.

adrian_12111540

No not ashamed
No not ashamed from my background, but because most people out their are not like that case AT ALL.

adrian_12111540

Suspension done!
Fine, suspension is done. It is Egypt

adrian_12111540

Engineering
I am doing masters in engineering. i.e. extremely few parties .. one every new year @ there are few girls some are married ;)

redd_12111539

adrian_12111540

Scheiße!
oh boy u r so unlucky :roll: really need more help

ivy_12431722

Few ideas
- join groups such as "new in Franfkurt" on facebook. I met quite some nice people and women on these groups. They are in the same situation as u in not knowing anybody and open

- try dance classes (e.g. salsa or tango argentino). Especialyl for th later there usually are more women then men and in roguhly the right age groups. Being tight on fun is bullshit - u should make the time. Get your priorities right. A grilfriend will cost u much more anyway

Bars and clubs I would also not recommend given your experience with women - Environment is to high energy and fluctuating and the women there have low attention spans and freinds are likely to pull them away.

tinder and online dating - give it a shot - I personally don't like it much. Women tend to get spammed by contact requests and thus pay extremely little time with each one in the beginning. So the initial beginning is often a numbers game. But yes you will meet chicks there. Have your picture reviewed by a female freind and tell her what it's for.

Btw. if you are in DArmstadt - really go to frankfurt a lot - darmstadt is full of the men from TUD. Frankfurt is easier.

adrian_12111540

ivy_12431722

Dilemma!
"A girlfriend will cost u much more" ... once I had this argument with a group of friends here in Böblingen. I toke your opinion while a girl was very angry saying that "Money! ... I myself am with my boyfriend for himself, not for the money that he doesn't have" .. also, a boy said "money isn't a problem at all, I had 5 only in my pocket & girlfriend too" ... I didn't argue too much, believing it may be a cultural thing!!

redd_12111539

ivy_12431722

You sound very confident :)
Hallo,

I do not notice if you are a man or lady but you seem confident regarding your ideas. that is good but i think bars are fine for particular.

adrian_12111540

ivy_12431722

Dance classes.. didn't work :)
Hi, thanks for the suggestions. I tried 2-dance schools this 2-weekends. Unfortunately, they didn't work.

The Salsa dance school had about 8-men & 1-lady :)
While the Erwachsener dance school had many couples & no singles... ah, that was embarrasing & funny :)

Do you think can I introduce myself to s girl I like in a pub like the "nichtunbedingt86" says ?

ivy_12431722

adrian_12111540

Funny thing
I meant will cost u time didn't even have money on my mind :-).

What concerns money my personal view is that the younger you are the more women are fine with you not having money. From my experience women may say they dont care but if u look at how they behave most do care to some extent - which however varies greatly depending on the woman.

redd_12111539

Since we are talking about risk
if he may take risk then i have a suggestion which you "Puh" may confirm

my suggestion is z.B. to go to a normal pub and if you see a lady that you like then go to her and ask "darf ich Ihnen sitzen?"

i do not think you will get a refusal. even though probably she will do nicely. on the other hand if she welcomes you then introduce yourselves may be you be friends or introduce you to one of friends usw.

redd_12111539

Nice guess ;)
nice guess ;)

redd_12111539

Really !!
They are afraid of being on their own and being looked at like " she doesn't have a partner...there must be something wrong with her..."

really do you think so ?!

what if she has a boyfriend? how can he ask her to exchange contacts? :-)

i do not know the mentality of mädchen at that time but i think it will be like "I was asking where is Zucker because i was approaching you, please give me you Handynummer" correct?

adrian_12111540

redd_12111539

Am not I :(
yup. am not I :(

thanks for sympathy :)

adrian_12111540

No that's not what I meant
No bro./sister. That's not what I meant at all :)

Nächste Seite »